a prisoner of God's kind providence

The online publication of old copies of the Free Presbyterian Magazine (beginning 1906) is a great provision. The following comes from a letter written by a Colin Mackenzie 4 South Erradale, Gairloch, who died in 1905. It is said of him that "It was apparent to those who knew him intimately that his trouble proved a spiritual blessing to him. He once mentioned with much solemnity and pathos that he had often, day and night, suffered from such excruciating pains that he was afraid he would be deprived of his reason, yet that that was but a trifle compared to the smallest part of a grain of the wrath of God on the conscience for a single moment. His very countenance bespoke the reality of what he said".

Though I am a prisoner of God's kind providence, yet I praise His thrice holy name that my bitter cup is mixed with His loving kindness; and He not only bestows upon me of His liberal
bounty, but in a wonderful way permits me to enjoy a fair share of the good things of this life.
A few weeks ago I was very much depressed and low in spirit, but now my hope seems to have revived a bit, and my confidence in God renewed. Yet I must confess I make little, if any,
progress on the way to Zion. I find my old enemy - the carnal mind - is still alive, and at times makes me cry out in despair of ever reaching that city of refuge. Oh, that my Redeemer would suffer me to crawl at His feet, and eat of the crumbs that fall off His table; and as a poor worm would find refuge under a stone, so would my:soul find a place of refuge under His wings. Then I would have confidence that He would not crush me, because He will not break the bruised reed, nor quench the smoking flax. Pardon me for talking, in my own illiterate way, of things too wonderful for me, of which I know so little. It would become me best to repent not only of my old sins, but of every-day thought, word, and deed, and come again and again to be washed in the fountain open for sin and uncleanness.